Summer sports: 21 rules for men
Jeremy Singer
Ryersonian Staff
Uploaded on 4/10/2012 4:32:49 PM

You don't want to run into this situation like Ben Stiller.
Courtesy Youtube

With the upcoming warm months approaching, summer presents a whole new variety of options for guys to choose from when it comes to outdoor activities. But be warned, there's some unwritten rules involved. Learn a few of the codes of summer sports that should apply to every man.

Rule No. 1: Unless you're training for swimming in the London Olympics, no speedos. Ever.

Rule No. 2: Guys don't jog. We run.

Rule No. 3: Sweat is awesome. But every man should be obligated to wear a sleeveless or t-shirt when playing pick-up basketball.

Rule No. 4:
When getting a ball park frank, stop using ketchup on your hot dogs after the age of 18. Mustard is the way to go.

Rule No. 5: Tennis shorts should never be higher than mid-thigh.

Rule No. 6:
Or any summer shorts, for that matter.

Rule No. 7: Your IQ will appear to drop significantly to your colleagues if you show up to a pick-up sports game, wearing a customized sports team jersey with your name stitched on the back.

Rule No. 8:
Going fishing is only validated if there's a cooler of beers on the boat.

Rule No. 9:
Spandex shorts should be avoided when biking, unless you're heading to the mountains. Or the Tour de France.

Rule No. 10:
Bringing a Gatorade to a pick-up game is fine. Bringing a whole G series product line of pre, during, and post-game drinks is just insane.

Rule No. 11:
Stadium heckling is always approved, unless you're the lone idiot yelling in fans' ears.

Rule No. 12: Frisbee: if you’re playing professionally, stop.

Rule No. 13: A bunch of men getting together to play softball: thumbs up. A bunch of men getting together to play softball, with one guy trying to act like an aspiring baseball prospect: thumbs down.

Rule No. 14: Refrain from being the guy who stays naked in the locker room longer than actually required.

Rule No. 15: The shooter’s responsible for getting the ball in the neighbors’ back yard.

Rule No. 16: The guy who comes to a street hockey game in roller blade an idiot.

Rule No. 17: Water-skiing is only acceptable on America’s Funniest Home Videos.

Rule No. 18: Requirements for a softball game: beer, sunflower seeds, and big league chew.

Rule No. 19: If you’re playing dodge ball, you have to be willing to sacrifice blood, sweat and tears, or nothing at all.

Rule No. 20: Understand that golf is 90 per cent riding around in a golf kart, and 10 per cent skill.

Rule No. 21: Tanning oil should be avoided when playing beach volleyball. No need to prove to everyone that you and your buddy are "Maverick" and "Goose" from Top Gun.

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Comments (1)
baal writes:
A voodoor curse on you. And on your immediate family. And on your significant other and on your
offspring and your ancestors. Tragedy. Death. Anguish. Dementia.
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